Pandora Love

I don't usually like female singers. I don't know why. I usually enjoy soulful, male singer/song writers like Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson and the like. There are a few 'girl' anthems that I enjoy when I am doing my hair or putting my makeup on. I also like to listen to Kesha and Beyonce when I am cleaning the house, but not because I am in the mood to enjoy music. When I really want to enjoy music and let it seep into my soul I check into my Van Morrison Pandora station or my Tim McGraw station, until now....I have discovered the best Pandora station ever...Adele...

I love Adele and I know this is not an amazing discovery. Everyone seems to love Adele. I don't tire of her voice. I like every song on her album 21. She is just so much fun to listen to. The beauty of the Adele Pandora station is that you get to enjoy her songs intermittently while listening to other really great music. I still get my boys: Jason Mraz, Michael Buble and Jon Mayer on this channel, but the coolest part is that I regularly get Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald and other great jazz singers. I also get to listen to Christina Perri and Amy Winehouse in the middle of this wonderful channel. I think the key words for the channel might center on "good voices" or "quality music". I don't know exactly, but listening to this channel is like enjoying great, high quality art.

Listening to my Adele channel is a completely joyful experience for me because it feels like a treat every time I get a new song in the mix. It is something I am actually making time to do during the routine of my week. It instantly puts me in a better mood and makes doing the dishes or laundry something enjoyable.

I hope that you too enjoy a specific Pandora channel the way I enjoy mine and if you have never listened to Adele sing "Make You Feel My Love", you should Youtube it....instant happiness!

The new "Dynasty"

I don't really love reality television. I have lots of friends and family that have particular shows that they love: The Bachelor, The Housewives, Storage Wars, Amish Mafia and many others. I remember when the original reality show, MTV's The Real World, came out in the 1990's. I didn't understand why anyone would watch these strange people make bad choices and create drama. I can sit through a couple of episodes of Swamp People and American Restoration and enjoy myself, but really I am not attached to any of these shows with any affection....until now...

I am an unabashed Duck Dynasty junkie.

If you have not watched an episode of this show, please do not judge the show by its appearance. The pictures would reveal a group of redneck, bearded, camouflaged men running a duck call business. This show is so much more than redneck stunts and stereotypes. It follows the exploits and adventures of competitive brothers, their very patient wives, and hilarious parents. The family dynamics are funny in a fun way, not a dysfunctional way like so many other shows. I usually laugh out loud in every episode. I am sure many of the situations are choreographed by the show's producers but it does not matter because the family is so funny.

I hope that television recognizes the formula of this show and figures out how to make more like it, but I am not certain that the combination that works here is found elsewhere. The family is rich, Christian, rednecked and quotable. I don't know anyone that has watched a couple of episodes that does not have some affection for its characters. It really is good television.

So if you have yet to watch an episode or if you have passed judgment due to its appearance. I would like to suggest that you give Duck Dynasty a chance. It will make you," Happy, Happy, Happy!"

What men really are...

I have a theory I have been developing since I was the wing "mom" for my husband's residents in college. My husband was a resident assistant his sophomore and junior year of college for an all boy's wing. We were steadily dating at the time and I was constantly on his floor, consequently I served as the 'mom' voice for most of these boys. I would offer girl advice, tell them about appropriate rules of social etiquette and remind them to bath regularly. I really enjoyed these guys and learned a lot in the process, but one these lessons has developed into a working theory that I think is the secret to understanding men. I know a big claim, but really I think this is the answer to all our questions.

So here goes... Men are not really adults in their true, inner psyche. They are actually sixteen-year old boys. Their maturity freezes at sixteen and they spend the rest of their lives pretending that they are more grown up than they really feel.

I have shared my theory with my husband and a few other men and they always smile and laugh, but don't deny or approve my theory. I think I was not supposed to figure this out. It is like against guy code to acknowledge this truth.

I have been testing my theory over the past few years and I think I am ready to go public and publish my findings. I have two groups that I have used for this study: the sophomore boys I teach in my classroom on a yearly basis and the plethora of supposed mature men in my life. I have been able to use the responses for both groups to various stimuli and compare. Here is my evidence:

1. The male comedy movie: Zombieland, The Hangover, anything Will Farrell is in...

These movies are all obviously written by sophomore boys. The plot of Zombieland is to kill zombies and find a Twinkie. There is no real plot cycle beyond this and the climax of the film takes place in an amusement park shooting cage with as much ammunition as you can possibly imagine. Thus...written by sophomore boys. My students all agree that these are the best films ever made and the mature men in my life also think these films should win Oscars.

My husband and I recently watched one of these ridiculous films, I will not divulge which one due to my own embarrassment, and I turned to my husband half way through the film and said,"so this is the point where the aliens will come right...". I know the plot process of sophomore boys' imaginations because of my job and I can therefore predict this comedy. Also all of these films will have potty humor and reference to male anatomy, another consistency with my classroom.

2. Driving and the unexplainable urge to drive over/hit/crush items in their path.

If you have spent any time with sophomore boys you know that they are trying to control their aggression and sometimes flail out with a random punch to a friend's shoulder or a push into a locker. This desire should begin to wain as a man matures. The professionals in my husband's office don't walk down the hall and push each other into walls (I don't think) but this desire is simmering just below the surface of every man. I see it shaking in my husband's hands on the steering wheel as we are driving down the road. It is like he is trying to control the inner Hulk that is raging to hit the trash can that is misplaced on the side of the road. Sometimes I will comment on this inner-struggle as I witness it and I say, "You really wanted to run over that trashcan didn't you?" He responds in the affirmative. This is conclusive evidence that this aggressive urge has not abated and the sophomore boy lives inside the adult shell.

3. Tinkering

My classroom studies have also revealed that my boys are never really focused and completely present in a classroom task. They are often working on something else in their mind's eye. These boys will claim that they are multi-tasking. To which I reply that multi-tasking is marked by the actual accomplishment of multiple tasks, not their ADHD. This problem is not actually a clinical problem however, but an issue with every "adult" male also.

Now it is true that women may sometimes be accused of not being completely present during a conversation or task, but that is because they are working through a mental to-do list that must be accomplished. Conversely, men are not completely present during these times because they are "tinkering" in their brains. My husband will seem like he is listening to a phone call or concentrating on his driving, but he is really imagining how he would build the bridge he just passed differently. He is looking at the cars in the parking lot and imagining how they could be improved with new tires. He is wondering how many geese he could shoot out of the sky if he hunted at a different place/time.

My classroom boys all have 'projects' they are working on physically or mentally too. They are tinkering on cars, equipment, music or another personal interest. These boys will often have drawings or notes about these things in their English notebook and thus provide evidence of their ever-present mental tinkering.

I believe that these three examples provide excellent data to support my theory. Men are not really adults, they are sophomore boys. They still laugh at fart jokes, they still are gobsmacked by the female anatomy, they still want to prove themselves in competition (thus why video games don't die with adolescent boys).

The issue now facing the female gender in light of this new discovery is what do we do about it. My sophomore girls do everything they can to date "older" boys and escape the insufferable annoyance of their classmates. What can we do about the fact that they really never mature beyond sixteen?

These findings will obviously require more study and further evidence, but it is my hope that my groundbreaking work well begin to bridge some understandings between men and women and take us down the road to mutual maturity. Until then, I hope you enjoy watching Zombieland for the twelfth time and remember to "double tap".

The art of gift giving

I have wanted to write this blog for the last three days, but I have not had time to sit down and get it done. I wanted to share my thoughts on gift giving because I had a beautiful education in this art. My mother was an incredible gifter, largely because she was a talented artist and crafter. She loved to give handmade items and beautiful things to those she loved and cared for. She always offered the lessons about how fun it is give to others and how it is more important to give than to receive. She used to ask me what gift was my favorite gift that I gave, rather than ask me about what I got. I treasure this moral education. She taught me about the importance of thoughtfulness and kindness.

This lesson really took shape in my life when I was twelve years old. I don't think anyone would suggest that twelve is the height of selflessness, but this is the age when I really internalized the value of gifts of love. I was taking wood shop class as an elective. This might seem like a strange choice for me for those of you that know me well, but rest assured I was only taking the class because the boy I liked was the teacher aide. We had to make a semester project that would evaluate all the different skills and tool usage in the shop. Our wonderful wood shop teacher Mr. Merrel (I would like to nominate him for sainthood, can you imagine teaching middle school wood shop class to giggling girls?) suggested that we could make gifts for our parents if we liked and then he showed several examples. I decided to choose what I thought was the most beautiful candle holder I had ever seen. It was a wall hanging oval piece with a mirror inlaid in the center and the candle holder attached in front of the mirror. The model he had was even stained with a torched wood grain method. I knew this project was out of my league, but I thought I should try it and if I had any trouble I could ask the boy I liked to help. Great plan!

I worked on this project for three months. That is an ETERNITY to a twelve year old girl. I was so proud of my cutting, my routing, my staining. I can assure you that my piece was the most beautiful thing that has ever been made. I got to take it home at the beginning of December and I think it took me an hour longer to get home that day because I was so careful with it. I specifically remember how carefully I wrapped it and how much attention I spent on the bow. I wanted this gift to be the most special gift my mother had ever received.

After I was finished, I proudly proclaimed to my mother that she was going to get a very special gift and she should check under the tree for it. We still had two or three weeks left until Christmas and I remember how slowly the time went. I could not wait for my mother to open this gift. I have no idea what I got as a gift this Christmas, but I can tell you exactly every detail of my mother opening my wood shop mirror. She did what every mother would do and swooned over it, telling me how honored she was to get such a special gift. This stands out as one of my happiest Christmas memories. I loved giving her this special gift.

Since this time I have chased this euphoric feeling. I love finding something that is just the perfect, thoughtful thing for someone. This is also the reason that I don't love gift cards that much. I understand the purpose of gift cards and I certainly don't mind getting them, but giving a gift card takes so much away from the experience of gifting. This year my favorite gift was the gift my son choose to get his sister. He was so excited about it and couldn't wait for her to open it. I revelled in the experience of my son learning the joy of gifting. His sister did love the giant fox shaped body pillow (who wouldn't) and he was so proud to have gotten her such a great gift.

So now that your gifts are opened and possibly put away, I would like to ask you the same question my mother asked me. What is the favorite gift you gave this year? I hope it gave you these same feelings of joy.

Seizing the Christmas Moments

I took my four year old daughter to see Ballet Idaho's Nutcracker today and it was a lovely time, but it was also one of those moments when I was acutely aware that I would never get today back again. I will never again take my four year old daughter to experience the ballet at Christmas.

I have several people in my life that are going through transition with their children from youth into their young adulthood. I get to watch moms and dads struggle with the loss of their nuclear family as their children grow into adults. This is just a part of life's transition,s but it is also fairly painful. My own little brother (19) is a grown man in the military and he is spending Christmas Eve and Christmas day with his girlfriend's family. He is very excited about this, and I remember when my husband and I had to make these same choices. We were also very excited during this time. But while this is exciting for youth, it is killer on the adults in their life. My job allows me to have a regular perspective on this difficult transition as I regularly teach 18 year- olds and every day brings a new transition battle with their parents.

This perspective has a side effect in my own parenting that makes this time of year very emotional for me. I am very conscious that these moments I share with my children are fleeting. Last year my son had opened a toy Woody doll and a toy Buzz doll on Christmas morning and he picked up the toys and immediately started to play with them just as Andy does on Toy Story. I had instant tears. I knew I would never get this moment back. I am sure the heart-wrenching ending scene to Toy Story 3 did not help these feelings. I recently rewatched this movie and cried just as hard as I did the first time. I think I hate that movie. I recently picked up his Woody doll on the floor of his room and discovered that he had written his name on the bottom of Woody's boot...yes I cried again.

I find that I am especially aware of the magic of Christmas for my children and I feel like the moments are just flying by me. I want to basque in these moments and enjoy them, but there is a shadow of sorrow over the loss that I know is coming some day soon. I also think I am more aware of these feelings because I lost my mom before she could really be a grandmother. I am regularly considering our Christmas events through my eyes in addition to the perspective I think my mother would have had on the whole mess.

I don't know if this helps me treasure the time more or if costs me some of the enjoyment I should be having. I did love my time at the ballet with my daughter today and I hope we will have many more trips in the future, but maybe I should have like ten more children just to ensure I will have more moments like this.

Movie Fun

I teach a film as literature course this semester and the final project was a presentation about a great film from AMC's 100 greatest films of the 20th century. My students have to work off this list all semester and they get to choose a film they discovered during the semester and argue for its greatness. It has been a really cool project and I have 18 year old students discovering Titanic, Star Wars, and Saving Private Ryan for the first time.

Each day this week we have had a little extra time after presentations and we have been working to come up with a top ten list of films from the last twelve years of the 21st century. This has been met with very animated arguments. For example, they absolutely could not narrow down the animation category yesterday. Students were passionately arguing for Cars, Finding Nemo, Despicable Me and How to Train Your Dragon. They did agree to Shrek with pretty uniform agreement, but we finally had to outright vote between Cars and Nemo. Cars won 16-15.

So this conversation has had me think about my own list, consequently I proudly submit my top ten movies of the 21st Century....please feel free to take issue with my list.

1. Gladiator
2. Batman Trilogy (Please don't make me separate them)
3. The Notebook
4. Finding Nemo
5. Midnight in Paris
6. Casino Royal
7. Defiance
8. Ocean's Eleven (not 12 or 13)
9. Moulin Rouge
10. The Social Network

Now the next question is what does this say about me? I like good acting. I like Daniel Craig. I like smart movies with literary references. I enjoy good music. I like witty writing. I like movies with historical context.  All these things are absolutely true. This has been an entertaining effort and if you have time over the holiday with your family and friends, I encourage you to make your own list and let the arguments ensue.

Hello Kitty

I was at Walmart today finishing up stocking stuffers for my children and I realized that my girl thematic offerings fall in three major categories: Disney Princess, Dora the Explora (I like it to rhyme exactly) and Hello Kitty. Why is this?

I understand the juggernaut that is Disney Princess and I hate to admit that I also understand the appeal of Dora, but I don't really understand Hello Kitty. Why would my four-year old want Hello Kitty nail polish in her stocking? What is her connection to this character? There is no television show or movie that would connect her to this. Is the idea that her mother is the purchaser and I have connections to Hello Kitty from my childhood, so I will buy her those same items? If so, I guess I am not their target audience because I have no specific connections to Hello Kitty either. Why am I supposed to like this merchandise exactly?

I know that there is connection to Hello Kitty in the Asian culture, but I don't understand this either. Did Hello Kitty originate in China and America has adopted it? Are the mass produced, cheap products available for stocking stuffers representing an Asian appeal that we accept as an American symbol? I assume that there is a market for Hello Kitty stuff because I see it everywhere in stores, but strangely enough I don't feel like I see it in my high school. My hipster, vintage girls were wearing Hello Kitty four years ago, but not now. The marketing for these products is decidedly younger.

My daughter got a very cute Hello Kitty shirt for her birthday from her grandmother. She loves the shirt but seems oblivious to the marketing connection. She has not asked for other Hello Kitty items because she has one shirt. She has not begged for Hello Kitty socks, coloring books, alarm clocks or candy dispensers (all items I could have purchased in the stocking stuffer aisle today). She is just not simply not connected to Hello Kitty.

So...what is the deal....what is up with Hello Kitty?

and also I have another quandary....Disney has absolutely indoctrinated my daughter with Sophia the 1st since the beginning of November. She can sing every song verbatim. She is counting down the days until the series begins....

Guess what is nowhere to be seen at Walmart....

Guess Princess Sophia the 1st must not have hit China yet!